Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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