Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
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