piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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