This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
