He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
