roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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