I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize