Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
