Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How's work?
Spinning.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
