I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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