apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize