we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize