The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
