dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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