He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
