oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
