i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize