So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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