I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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