theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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