toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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