youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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