I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
