i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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