This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
