This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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