I accidentally burped into my bong.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
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