We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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