I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize