Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my shit smells like andre
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
