I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
