I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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