The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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