What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He better not be in your backpack
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
