who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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