JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
