woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize