OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
