I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
