? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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