He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
