so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
