How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
