I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
