i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
