Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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