I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
