dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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