I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize