p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
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