The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
