i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
