So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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