OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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