i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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