i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
this hospital has no fireball
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
false alarm, still single
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