What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
